The Ahmedabad Effect

There are a couple Chinese phrases that I immediately forget every time I hear them. Since most of my non-English interaction takes place in restaurants or other food-centered arenas, it's not that surprising that both have to do with meals. I've mastered how to ask for take out: the phrase sounds like asking "Why die?" And asking for tea or coffee on ice is no challenge -"bing," 冰 (although getting the tone wrong would mean asking for a soldier or a disease, most of the girls who work tea stands can figure out I mean). But I can never remember how to ask for a drink to be hot, and I'm at a total loss when I need to explain that I'd like to actually eat inside of a restaurant instead of just toting around a parcel of food.

At a lo mein shop I tried gesturing to the seats inside, which just confused the chefs taking my order, when the woman behind me said, "Sorry, what exactly are you asking for?"

Considering how many kids are put in after hours "cram schools" that employ nearly all the foreigners in the city, it doesn't really surprise me that so many people in Kaohsiung speak English. What does surprise me is the way these people materialize exactly when they're needed.

I've dubbed this phenomenon "the Ahmedabad Effect" - essentially when a stranger suddenly interprets a language you can't understand and surprises you be solving a problem explaining a situation. While we were in India in 2007, Katie, Meagan and I routinely wound up in situations where we had no idea what the hell was going on, be it buying overnight train tickets or literally crossing the street. Every time a person would appear almost magically to show us what we needed to do or explain what was happening.

The lesson: to survive in a foreign country you just need to do a few things. 1) Be white, 2) look obviously confused about what's going on around you and 3) be very, very gracious to whoever helps out. If you're just rude about it they may decide to never help confused white people again, and then we'd all be in trouble.